Dear Zara,

So far on this blog, I’ve written a letter to my firstborn, a Valentines post dedicated to my Husband, a post about the quirky personality that is Mister Seventeen, and I write about Mister Four all the time. And while I did write about the drama surrounding her last birthday almost a year ago, I thought it was time to dedicate a post to my daughter.

So Miss Almost-Fourteen, here are the things that I really want you to know.

Forget diamonds, true friends are the real gems. They are precious and rare. They will always be there to listen, laugh, cry, and help you scheme up crazy ways to spy on the cute boys. They will never make you feel bad about yourself, you will never find them boring, and I guarantee I will like them. But like all relationships friends need to be cared for. So try to always be the kind of friend you would like to have.

Don’t EVER accept that you can’t have or do something because you are a girl. You can have and do absolutely anything you are willing to put the time and effort into. Show the boys how it’s done. Feminist is not a dirty word, wear it with pride.

Life is a long and winding journey. But it also moves fast at the same time. And eventually all those things you can’t wait for will be a vague memory. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Enjoy the ride, and enjoy the innocence that is yours right now. There will always be boys, makeup, high heels, and short skirts. You really do have a long time to enjoy all that stuff, but the time you get to be a silly thirteen year old is short.

And however much you might wish otherwise, life is not actually a fairy tale. You can definitely have a happy ending, but don’t pin all your hopes on a Prince Charming, and horse drawn carriages are only for bogans. Anyway, you don’t NEED Prince Charming. Women kick butt way better than boys. Who do you think kills all the cockroaches in this house?

And speaking of makeup, clothes, and shoes, and despite me being a champion online shopper, you DO NOT NEED all of it. I know it’s fun, but remember that there is far more to life than the pursuit of material happiness. Status symbols will not make you a better person. They might buy you a few friends, but not necessarily the right ones. All that designer label STUFF that seems so must-have means nothing. Zero. It really is what’s inside that counts.

Smart is the new black. Don’t EVER think it’s okay, cool, or funny to dumb yourself down. Don’t play the bimbo because you’re not one. A good education is worth more than you can begin to imagine, so work hard for the next few years to achieve all that you can. Aim high, because there is truly NOTHING you cannot do or be. Everything is possible. Never stop reading and learning.

Have adventures. There is a big wide world out there. Don’t be scared to travel to new and different places. See what else is out there, and meet some amazing people on the way. Make the most of any new opportunity that comes your way. You have nothing to lose.

You are the daughter of a woman who wishes she was a writer. Therefore please stop massacring the English language. I mean srsly grrrl its cray cray so jst chllax babeee 😉

The only advice I would give you about boys and dating is that if you aren’t feeling happy and special, he’s not worth the time. But you don’t need to look to boys for happiness or a confidence boost. Don’t make any one person your “everything”. Young boys and teenage guys are generally shitty boyfriends, so you may as well wait until you’re older and they’re smarter.

Your body is amazing, strong, beautiful, and powerful. (Here’s the bit where I go all Amazon mum). I hope you are blessed with being a mother (and if you are I am SO being at the birth), and I hope and pray every day that you get to experience the raw primal power of birth as God intended. I want for you what it took me four babies to learn: that there is nothing stronger or more powerful IN THIS WORLD than a woman birthing her own baby. She is a warrior, and has nothing to fear. It’s not pain for the sake of it, it’s just a few hours of hard work for the ultimate reward.

Be yourself. You are not me (not even a younger and far better looking version). You are not your brothers either (thank God). Be who you are. Form your own opinions. Then change them. It’s all good. Disagree with me, that’s fine. My love for you isn’t dependent on you agreeing with everything I say. I am your Mum, which means that I am ALWAYS on your side. No one else’s. Always on your team. You and your brothers come first. Full stop.

Stand up tall and proud.

You are so so beautiful.

I want you to laugh, but above all I want you to love. Life, people, and most of all yourself.

Go get ‘em.

Love, Mum.

*This post originally appeared on a former blog.


  1. Beautiful post. Every teenage girl should receive a letter like that. There’s a blog that asked for guest posters each week to write letters to her daughters…lots of amazing posts. I think it was Big Words but I’ve gone blank.


    1. Thanks Cathy. I’ve been working on it for a while. So much to say. I might look for that link 🙂


  2. What an amazing post. Please publish this somewhere for the world to read.


    1. Wow, thank you so much. Btw, I would publish it if I only knew where 😉


  3. Beautiful, lady! Just beautiful. 🙂


    1. Aw, thanks.


    1. Thank you 🙂


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