FFS Tuesday. I Mean Friday.

I have to say, I was so ready to publish this on Tuesday. But then fate, karma, or whoever else is up there having a laugh at our expense, decided to give me even more fodder. So here’s another FFS Friday link up with Dear Baby G.

This time last week Mister Four and I got caught in the rain. Like most people, when you picture this it sounds like a bit of fun. It’s not. I’m talking a torrential downpour in which I made a dash for the car after picking up Mister Four from school. I was making that mad dash because despite this exact thing happening before I still had no umbrella. FFS

Did I mention I was carrying a twenty kilogram four year old? And his backpack, as well as my stupidly oversized and overstuffed tote? Allow me to stress: violent rain. Getting right in my eyes. I wear contacts, so there were moments when I couldn’t even see anything. My hair was by now nicely plastered to my head. I had straightened it that morning. Plus my artfully penciled in eyebrows slid off my face and straight down the drain. FFS

I threw him and the bags in the car, and it was bucketing down so seriously that I DIDN’T EVEN PUT HIM IN HIS LEGALLY REQUIRED CAR SEAT. Just put him in the back seat nearest the door and put a regular seat belt on him. He was shivering. FFS

Cue a few days later and we are back at the doctors for about the fourth time this year. He has a chest infection. And for good measure his asthma has decided to join the party. FFS

To cheer him up I bought him a kids magazine which came with a very icky sticky centipede. The kind that sticks to windows. Which his father showed him how to do. Because I need even grubbier windows. FFS

But payback was sweet when Mister Four climbed up onto his bunk, and proceeded to throw it at the newly painted ceiling, leaving black marks. Which I cheerfully pointed out to hubby, with the helpful reminder that he was to blame. Lucky for us hubby is a painter. No FFS

After one night of a sick child in our bed and no-one getting any sleep I thought it would be a good idea to take his old mattress into our room and put it next to my side of the bed. Yay! Sleep for everyone. No FFS

Until about 2 am when I realised that I now couldn’t get out of bed to go to the toilet. FFS

And speaking of the mattress, it’s the same one that should have been collected by council a week ago. I now have to wait until the 23rd of March. Because of course there is tons of room for a spare mattress in this house. Not. FFS

On Wednesday I set my alarm to go off early so I could get some work done before everyone else woke up. I had a 32 page document filled with architectural drawings, and needed to e-mail only 10 of the pages. After half an hour I was having no luck. So I decided to delete the pages I didn’t need and send the rest. FFS

Which was when Mister Four woke up coughing so violently that he vomited. FFS

After cleaning up him, the bathroom, and the floor I realised that I hadn’t heard Mister Seventeen leave the house yet. I checked his bedroom, and lo and behold! He was still asleep. His bus had left, the next one was in half an hour, and school started in forty minutes. FFS

This is the same child who insists he needs new school shirts. It’s his final year, and he’s done at the end of September. Sorry, not happening kiddo. FFS

Then there was the panic attack. I have been carrying my engagement ring in my purse for the last year and a half, since the central solitaire diamond FELL OUT. I also needed to remove my diamond studs recently while I was out so I popped them in with the ring. Then changed purses and forgot about all the gold and diamonds in that small pocket. And my heart actually stopped beating when I couldn’t remember where I had left them. My stomach dropped and I thought I was going to pass out. The purse they were in had ended up in the cupboard under the stairs under a pile of magazines. FFS

Yesterday I went to the paint shop for a colour match. I got a perfect match. FORTY MINUTES LATER. FFS

And this morning I was reminded of how much easier it is doing the grocery shopping alone, rather than with a bouncy child pumped up on  steroids asthma medication. I almost rammed him with the trolley. Almost. FFS

All I wanna know is: when does happy hour start?



  1. I am definitely hearing you on the rain one.
    Although I don’t wear contacts, I have done the same thing numerous times these past 3 weeks, with an 18kg toddler and a 11 kg toddler in each arm.


    1. And of course when you get organised enough to buy umbrellas it doesn’t rain…


  2. You did well holding off until friday!! I so hope this week does not suck as much!!


  3. Well done for holding off until friday!! I hope this week does not suck as much for you!!


    1. So far so good!


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