Why Every Day Is Mothers Day…

So it’s Mothers Day again. That time of year when Mum seems to inexplicably need slippers, PJ’s, and yet another Michael Buble CD. But, surprisingly, I’m not here to bitch about any of that. What I really want to say to all the Mums out there is this:

let’s be kinder to ourselves as well as to each other.

There are enough people out there who will happily rip into mothers and tear them to shreds for every decision they make. For breastfeeding in public or not at all, for working too many hours or being a lazy stay at homer, for getting too fat while pregnant or getting thin afterwards way too fast, for being too strict or too lenient, too pushy, too relaxed, swearing too much, feeding them too many processed foods, letting the kids watch too much TV; you get the picture: it just goes on and on and on. It’s a wonder sometimes that any mother ever feels like she is doing anything right.

Gwyneth Paltrow was recently quoted as saying how much harder her life is, working fourteen hour days on a movie set for months at a time, compared to the average working mum. She was slammed all over the globe, and I too joined the chorus of who-the-f**k-is-this-woman? Just this week she responded to all the hoopla by saying that she had been taken very much out of context, and was in fact explaining why she chose to work on only one movie a year in order to be a parent first and an actress second. She also went on to point out, and very accurately, that we women are harder on each other than any male could ever be. We slam each other ruthlessly. I’m not a fan of Gwyneth’s by any means, but she makes a fair point.

Read the articles, blogs, and opinions that are slamming women for their various decisions and you will see how many times the author is a woman. Just this week one blogger turned media commentator that I have always enjoyed reading very politely but firmly had a go at Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith for the pictures of their teenage daughter lounging on a bed with a shirtless older guy. Whatever your opinion on the matter, it’s nobody else’s place to point the finger and publicly try to shame another parent. I think it’s safe to say that we’re all doing our best.

In actual fact the only people who are entitled to judge mothers are their own children. So if some person or article calls you a lousy mother or labels you as below standard for whatever reason you should definitely ignore it and pay no attention to it. On the other hand if your adult children one day say to you that you are or were a lousy mother then you should definitely sit up and pay attention.

And by the way, as much as being a parent takes a lot of hard work, I’m totally over thinking of it as a job. Yes, mums wear a lot of hats and the demands are constant, and our contributions to society are not acknowledged except on this one token day. But I chose to be a mother, and all the really difficult and challenging days can not change the fact that there is nothing more rewarding than raising a child and watching their minds and bodies grow. I wonder if we call motherhood a job in order to validate what we do every day? To give it some value in a society that rewards the high achieving career person? To transform it from the frumpy old fashioned notion it might have looked like to us back when we were growing up into something more modern and worthwhile? But at the end of the day being a mother is not something I do. It’s who I am. Sure, there is more to me than solely being a mother, but it’s not a role where I perform set tasks then clock off and go home. I am a mother every second of every day no matter where I am. I suggest we stop calling it a job because it’s so much better than a job. It’s so much more important than a mere job. Calling it a job doesn’t elevate what mothers do, it demotes them.

So this Mothers Day lets just remember that we’re all in the same {very large} boat. None of us know what the women around us and online are dealing with in their personal lives. That mother ignoring her child at the park while she stares at her phone may be coping with something you can’t imagine. That woman in the bank queue who seems rude may have just learned that one of her kids is seriously ill. And even that cheerful blogger might {finally} be coming out of a dark and depressing time.

So to all of you wonderful mothers without whom the world couldn’t turn, I wish you all a very happy mothers day.

And I really hope none of you get a Michael Buble CD.

Til next time,

Ana.

  1. Not a Mom but I can’t stand listening to my friend’s judge and bicker with each other over which way to raise their kids is the best. One of them wants all non-electronic toys and nothing Disney which is fine, another takes great offense to that. Enough! Even worse are friends without kids butting in and criticizing these choices. It’s not like any one of these Moms is putting crack in their baby’s oatmeal.
    Happy Mother’s Day!

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    1. Thanks Susan, and yes, whatever works for each person is the right thing to do. And I see the competition everywhere, so silly.

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  2. Love this. We all, as mothers and women, just need to be a little kinder to each other. Most of us are doing the best that we can with what we’ve been given. Thanks for this reminder! Stopping by the Sunday brunch link up and will be following you on social media! Look for Just a Touch of Crazy!

    Reply

    1. Thanks Leilani, it doesn’t seem too much to ask does it? I love the Sunday brunch linky, will be doing my blog visits today!

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  3. Very wise words Ana, and those examples are so true, it’s so easy to judge other mums! We should respect mums all day every day! I hope you had a great weekend x

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    1. Thanks Em, it was a quiet day but nice. Hope your day was special too. x.

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  4. Such truth to your message Ana. We’re so quick to judge everybody aren’t we! I’m not yet a mum but can still relate to all that you say. Oh and how funny, I’m not even a mom and I still got a Michael Bublé cd. Although, I don’t mind. He’s a babe!

    Reply

    1. Thank you. Nothing against Michael Buble either but just a bit over having him stare at me every mothers day!

      Reply

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