Here we go…

I don’t know if you noticed, but the World Cup has kicked off in Brazil.

And despite news reports of riots, protests, and outrage at the behind the scenes budget blow-outs and lack of preparation, it’s looking a lot like party central. But Brazil is very far from my own backyard, and I’m not a sports fan in any way whatsoever.

But whenever the World Cup does roll around you will know it when you see one or more of the following signs:

  • Instagram will suddenly fill with pictures of every man, woman, and child wearing their national colours. There will often be rival colours in the same family. Double tap when you see your country’s colours.
  • All the experts suddenly appear as if by magic. This includes but is not limited to the teenager ringing up your groceries who shares his tips, the women waiting around for school pick up discussing the latest games, your best friend who will suddenly be placing bets, and your kids who will get up for the first few games before deciding they can’t be assed any more.
  • Every male you come across will know EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW about the sport since the beginning of time. Do not engage in any debate on the topic, no matter what you just read in the papers.
  • If you grew up in a football* mad family this is the time when you will inevitably find yourself explaining the offside rule to the other mums at the kids’ matches. The mums, mind you. The dads already know, remember?
  • You will find yourself saying things like, “The Netherlands beat Spain by HOW much?!”
  • Facebook becomes HQ for people whose teams have lost, and your stream suddenly fills with comments like, “No wonder _______ lost, they were playing the other team AND the ref!”
  • You will make a harmless comment on Twitter which will be pounced on by a feral Cheryl whose team has just lost.
  • You will wake up to find your family have invited friends round to watch a game. You will only learn this after you come downstairs wearing no make-up, contacts, or bra.
  • If you’re from a migrant family you will face the difficult task of wanting to cheer for two teams, the country of your birth as well as that of your parents and grandparents. You will wave both flags, get up to watch both teams play, and pray to God that they don’t play each other.

If you’re all fired up and loving what you’ve seen so far then good for you. If you’re a bit more like me and have a bit of a whatever vibe happening, then I feel ya. Although I may just whip up some enthusiasm if any of my teams* progress further along. For now I will skip hauling myself out of bed before dawn and shall keep my opinions and expertise* to myself.

But if you want to know what the offside rule is I’d be happy to tell you.

Happy viewing people.

-Ana.

*Despite our Aussie penchant for calling it soccer, football is indeed the proper name. Just ask anyone who doesn’t live in Australia.

*”My teams” being Australia {birthplace}, Croatia {ancestral birthplace}, Italy {pasta, pizza, gelato}, and France {macarons, Paris, and baguettes}.

*Just joking.

 

 

  1. I am seeing a significant number of World Cup tweets & other World Cup-y stuff elsewhere online but I’m mostly safe from the constant chatter, cheering and debate about the games because I’m safely nestled in the US where hardly anybody gives a Flying you-know-what about soccer. But I guess that just makes us lame in the eyes of the rest of the world.

    Reply

    1. Not lame, would you believe that here in Australia it’s something like the number four code? Maybe even fifth, in popularity. But I think the most played in terms of numbers. And it has barely any TV coverage except at times like this.

      Reply

      1. Are the codes like leagues ‘errrr?

        Reply

        1. Yes, the football/rugby codes. Closest in the US might be grid iron? Rugby league first, then rugby union, then AFL, then probably soccer. But cricket is massive here too.

          Btw, all of which I give zero hoots about.

          Reply

          1. Yeah def football(grid iron!) & baseball, basketball, nascar/racing, hockey. The only ones I pay attention to are the NBA(love it, enough that I flew halfway across the country for a game once) and sometimes hockey which is huge in my city and the games are fun to go to. I played soccer as a teenager though, lots of sports actually.

            I’m less interested in sports as I get older for some reason and I think I’ll never like football. I should be kicked out of America.

            Reply

  2. I will pride myself on not watching a single game, it’s not just soccer but I’m not a great fan of sport, well except rugby. Although I do like all the eye candy when they rip their shirts off – GROWL!!! ;_

    Reply

    1. Yes, the eye candy, someone else said the same thing to me. Hubby loves the rugby, and that’s about it for this house!

      Reply

  3. I don’t usually watch soccer, but the World Cup has been on our TV a lot lately – when you have a lot of boys who like sports, that will happen. But I find myself paying attention and think I just might be able to work that Netherlands vs. Spain comment into a conversation today!

    Reply

    1. Lots of boys usually equals lots of sports.

      Btw, I actually watched the whole Spain Netherlands game!

      Reply

  4. Definite ‘whatever’s from most in my house, although this will change when Husband gets back from Brazil (at which point I’ll flee to my happy place whilst he gets on with the frenzy).
    I can recognise an off-side infringement when I see one. I resent myself for knowing that.

    Reply

    1. Can I be honest and say that since posting this I spent my whole weekend watching the matches?

      Of my own choice.

      *shakes head*

      Reply

      1. I fear you may be beyond help. 😉

        Reply

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: