FFS: the humpday edition.

It’s only Wednesday and what was supposed to be the one quiet week in amidst the crazy has not been following the script.

After the big 21st on the weekend I had planned Monday through to Thursday of this week to do the bare minimum, be lazy and recover from the birthday frenzy that was the last few weeks. I needed to recharge the old batteries before the in-laws return from o/s this Friday and the final birthday party on Saturday.

Instead the last three days have looked like this:

MONDAY

  • bottles everywhere. Alcohol, soft drinks, juices, water. Leftover party drinks needing to be “put away” somewhere. Where? Fucked if I know, all cupboards are full so I park them on a table outside out of the weather and out of sight lest people think we are insane for having that many bottles of everything.
  • it’s looking like rain and I have no choice but to get every last bit of the back yard cleaned up before it starts. The party hire people are coming to collect their stuff so that needs to be stacked and put to one side. I finish just before the rain starts.
  • All bins are full to overflowing just when I have more rubbish to contend with than I thought possible.
  • SOOO much leftover food that I know no-one will eat. I {please don’t judge me} throw it all away. My oldest son gets home from work and asks where all the leftover food is.

gif-are-you-fucking-kidding-me-ffs-for-fucks-sake-ugh-omg-oh-my-god-my-god-are-you-kidding-me-ffs-for-fucks-sake-gif

TUESDAY

  • today is looking like I could have my quiet day, so I decide to race through the required minimum amount of tidying first thing in the morning. Then I spy the full clothes hampers.
  • Miss 17, she of the sprained ankle, needs to be driven to school for exams and picked up because of her crutches. Yes, that makes me sound like a complete bitch I know, but the fact that she sprained it while tottering down the stairs in vertiginous heels while clutching a glass of champagne reins my sympathy in somewhat.
  • I salvage an hour in the afternoon to check airfare prices for Europe next year and am left wondering where exactly all the “earlybird” specials are. Because all I’m getting is prices higher than any I’ve ever paid, special or otherwise.
  • For a few minutes I get excited thinking that it would surely be cheaper to fly to Rome instead of Croatia and maybe even get to visit Florence this time, until I discover that flying to Rome costs the same as flying to Croatia. Much swearing ensues.
  • My day officially ends in the toilet when I go to pour myself a much needed glass of bubbles and notice that it feels a bit warm. Yes, my fridge is not cooling at all and everything in the freezer has defrosted and is dripping wet. It’s 5.30 in the evening.
  • I go to put the cold essentials in the fridge in the garage and discover that the freezer in the garage is full of exploded champagne bottles that my son put there on Saturday before the party and then we all forgot about.

raw

WEDNESDAY

  • the day kicks off by trying to get a fridge repair person to answer their phone at seven am. The first one who does tells me their call out fee is only $198, which is, according to him, “cheap.” Go fuck yourself buddy.
  • The next half dozen places go straight to voicemail.
  • Hooray for local businesses, when a very nice man says he can be here by ten today and his call out is only $70. The downside is that he says, based on what I have described, that our fridge is probably done and dusted.
  • Looking at new fridges is painful because the fuckwit who designed our kitchen for the previous owners left a stupidly small sized space for it and it’s out of all proportion to the size of the rest of the kitchen.
  • Oh yeah, did I mention that the back up fridge in the garage died a few weeks ago? Which wasn’t a big deal because it was only the back up fridge and already almost twenty years old so why get it fixed, right?
  • But wait, the THIRD fridge in the house, also in the garage, which is the largest and currently the only working one, only has one shelf left because they were plastic and not up to all the drinks we used it for, but guess what? IT DOESN’T FIT IN THE KITCHEN.
  • Three fridges. And I will be throwing {another} ton of food away regardless.

FFS.

It’s only Wednesday. I mean surely the rest of the week has to get better? So cross your fingers for me that my fridges are all going to have some tiny and easily fixable thing wrong with them, that I will never again have to face a freezer full of exploded bottles of Italian Prosceco, and that I get a lazy hour sometime soon.

-A.

  1. Yikes. Wouldn’t it be nice if just once after you’ve done all the preparation and work and pulled off the party and it’s time to just bask in its success and relax a little bit everything didn’t go to hell instead? Fingers crossed for the end of the week!😉

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    1. I know, but that’s so typical. Of course the old back up fridge was fixed in a jiffy but the main one in the house is a goner. Just ordered a new one so time to clean out the busted one! I guess it’s all small stuff though, I shouldn’t be complaining so much, lol.

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      1. Ugh, well at least you have an excuse to pick out a new fridge(trying for a silver lining).

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        1. You know what the silver lining is here? That they didn’t all die on the day of the party, lol.

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          1. I feel like your appliances are always turning against you!

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            1. Haha! Revenge of the appliances!

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  2. What a few days you had! Did you end up buying a new fridge? What a bloody pain in the arse cleaning out the other freezer of all the broken glass!!!
    Hope thursday and friday improved for you.

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    1. Haha, was lucky the new fridge arrived the next day. And apart from being hectic at least it’s been smooth sailing since!

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      1. Hey did you just see on the news Qantas are dropping airfares in the new year I am sure it said $300 for one way to honolulu!

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        1. They need to drop their fares, they’re so bloody expensive!

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          1. Hubby used to work there! We have some free trips we need to take (5 round the world tickets!)

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            1. Omg so jealous. As a kid I used to wish more than anything that my dad worked for an airline, lol.

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