A letter to: MY DAUGHTER AT 17

Hey babe,

can you believe that you’re so close to being legal? Only six months to go and you’re 18. Legally an adult, maybe, but still my baby girl.

What an exciting time for you right now. These next few months should be, and no doubt will be, some of the most exciting and fun times of your life. Only two more exams to go and you are finished high school forever. I know, how crazy is that? Then you get like, what, four months off?, before you start at uni. Summer, freedom, and no more school. Definitely a great time to enjoy life.

You know that sometimes {or a lot of the time} our home is crazy. Sometimes I actually am a bit of a bad mum like the title at the top of the page says, and it can be hard to give everyone the attention they need. I know it takes me a week of reminders to get you a doctors appointment or phone credit and I know it drives you insane and I’m sorry. I think one day you might understand though so it’s all good.

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I wish you could see how beautiful you are, and I know that usually counts for zero when it’s your parents saying it because they have to, but you really are. Like, stunning beautiful. Pretty beautiful. Not just okay or not bad or not ugly, you are beautiful. You will look back at photos of yourself one day when you’re my age and know what I was talking about, and you’ll probably show your own kids and say look how hot your mum was.

I’m not just talking about what’s on the outside either. You have a caring, loving, and generous heart. And not just because you cry at the drop of a hat at random stuff either. You are pure love and light, and you make your dad and I so proud of who you are. You have some serious balls too, something that took me decades to learn. You don’t take shit, you tell it like it is no matter how much the truth might sting, and you also show forgiveness and empathy way beyond your years. Plus you’re pretty much the only person who will play SingStar with me whenever I feel like it so how can I not think you’re awesome? {Even though you are super competitive and can’t even let me win, like, ever.}

It never ceases to amaze me that the personalities the four of you showed as tiny babies is still so evident in who you all are today. Your two brothers who were placid and easy-going babies are still easy-going and chill, the brother who had me stumped trying to figure him out still does, and the baby girl who barely ever made a peep and was a sleepy happy little doll is still there too. Except with better clothes and PMS.

I’ve said to your dad so many times that I wish I was more like you guys at your age. You know what you want to study at uni, you have opinions of your own, and you aren’t fussed by what everyone else is doing. You also seemed to have skipped the obligatory awkward teen phase which isn’t really fair either. But mostly I’m just so excited for you for all that lies ahead. New adventures, new people, and new places. I want you to study, travel, and explore. There is so much out there to discover and enjoy, and it’s good to get out of your comfort zone. And I know you will.

I know what a good friend you are, and you are the best sister I have ever seen. I hope the four of you always have each others backs, especially as you all get older and leave home to live your own lives. You may not have an actual sister {but you have definitely adopted a couple, as have I}, but you have three brothers who love you to bits and will always be there looking out for you, as well as busting kneecaps should anyone ever fuck with you. Plus three brothers also means three sisters-in-law, and how cool is that.

So even though you seem to be watching lots of reality TV instead of the mad studying that I was expecting to see I know you are going to kick ass. In your exams, at uni, and at life in general. So make the most of the next few months because there is no other time in your life quite like this, where you have zero responsibilities and so much free time to just have fun and hang out with your friends. Uni will be there next year, and responsibility will be there forever.

Shine bright like the diamond you are my beautiful girl.

We all love you so much.




  1. What a lovely letter! My biggest wish for my daughter’s especially is that they are nothing at all like me as a teen/early twenties. I hope to goodness they have far more respect for themselves than I ever did (even now!)

    Sounds like you have raised a good one there and I am sure she will shine bright!


    1. It seems like this generation have a lot more confidence but then there’s the shit part of having everything be so public. Plus I think the expectoration higher now too. Fingers crossed they all turn our ok!


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