January is often the focus of a lot of reflection and thoughts of self improvement. After a week long new years beach break I came home determined to finally tackle what I had avoided my whole life: fitness. From being the girl all through high school who somehow always had her period every P.E. lesson to losing weight through food choices alone, I’ve only exercised very sporadically and mostly very ineffectively.
After much online research and reading I decided to sign up for the Bikini Body Guide program, and with the mental switch in my head being very firmly in the ON position, I threw myself into week one with a shitload of enthusiasm.
And landed face first in a pile of very painful reality.
I was too unfit to even do the pre-training. I struggled so much that by the end of week one I knew I was going to find it hard to stay motivated doing something I found so difficult. I wasn’t looking for an easy way, just a realistic way for me to build up fitness before going for intensity. I was feeling like a failure at the thought of hitting pause on BBG.
Then I watched the documentary Embrace, and was so moved that I even wrote an open letter to it’s creator Taryn Brumfitt.
A powerful message about just how fucked we women are in relation to our self body image, I was quite emotional by the time it finished. The idea that our bodies are not ornaments meant to simply look pretty but are instead amazing vehicles capable of so much hit me hard. Yes, I want to look better in a bikini, but no, I don’t have to make myself feel like shit in order to achieve that.
This whole month felt like a bit of a journey, as I turned inward and realised just how hard I am on myself and my body in particular. So much so that nothing will convince me that my current body shape is how I should remain. I’ve come to understand that I need to get my mind fit even more than I do my body.
I learned that I can work out every day when I put my mind to it, and I also discovered how much better my mood is after I’ve walked, jogged, swam, or yoga-ed.
I learned that I REALLY love yoga. Why has it taken me since those disastrous year eleven P.E. classes to give it another go???
I learned that you can never watch Sex and The City too many times, that the palm tree wallpaper feature wall is never going to be a thing in my house no matter how hard I try, that I will probably never stop enjoying a glass of champagne, and that being preoccupied with getting fit made me completely forget all about smoking and I haven’t had even one ciggie since January 6th.
Globally there was the sense that women are a force to be reckoned with, and watching all the amazing footage and photos from the Women’s Marches all over the world was nothing but inspiring and moving. The sheer number of people, men and women alike, who took to the streets to stand in unity for the fact that women’s rights equal human rights for all, was breathtaking. It was one of my favourite quotes brought to glorious life:
I learned that sometimes, when your head’s in the right place, you actually can harness all the promise and hope that a new year offers and make some of the changes you knew you needed to. BBG wasn’t for me and that’s okay, because just deciding to get out of my lazy rut led to me finding new things that I do love.
And finally, I was horrified to learn just how fucking expensive activewear is.
Hope you had a great January, and here’s to a great February!