Why I’m kind of over mothers day

There have been many mothers day posts over the years raging against Michael Buble and Andre Rieu CD’s, slippers, and kitchen appliances. It just never fucking changes. Look around the shops today, tomorrow, or any time this past fortnight and what you will see are some sad white chrysanthemums {because you’re not worth an expensive arrangement}, slippers {because you’re almost a nanna}, cookbooks {so you can cook for us}, appliances {so you can make us shit}, and if you’re lucky, candles or bath products. I’ve bought myself two bottles of my favourite perfume which were on special and two of my kids are cooking lunch for everyone. Hopefully I’ll also use that birthday spa voucher sometime soon. But even before mother’s day is here I’m just not fucking feeling it.

One day to acknowledge the women who carried you, raised you, wiped your shitty bum and snotty nose, who forfeited sleep for two years and does it all over again when those babies become boozing late night teenagers. Maybe one token day should be okay but it mostly feels like bullshit.

I know I’m a good mum. I have zero modesty whatsoever, and I do not need this one day to know that being a mum is hands down the one thing I have kicked ass at. Even when I’ve got it wrong. To top it off, these past few days someone keeps putting those old family movies on, and if there’s one thing that shines through even louder than the fact that I hate hearing my voice on tape it’s that I absolutely loved the shit out of my kids, and the years I was a stay at home mum were my most blissful. Truthfully, they were just super easy and fun. #sorrynotsorry

I’m also not alone in having a shit mum. I have friends who, like me, will not be wishing their own mothers a happy mothers day because the women who raised us are no longer in our lives. I can honestly say with no anger or sadness that the lessons I have taken away from my own mother are pretty much all of the “what not to do” variety. I also consider myself blessed to have a mother-in-law who loves me like I’m her own daughter and who shows me unconditional love every single day. My own mum was great as long as I did things the exact way she wanted, but god forbid her daughter should think or behave differently. And you know me: fuck that shit.

Mothers day is basically a day where most mums get to pretend that they won’t be cleaning everyone’s shit up tomorrow. By all means lets have that nice lunch at our favourite restaurant, but let’s not kid ourselves for even one second that being a mother and all that entails is actually valued by society. Let’s not get carried away and think that mothers will suddenly be regarded as anything other than cooks, cleaners, and nannies. I mean, I’m not saying that no-one else contributes to society or is worthy of recognition, but there’s no way one token day is fair recognition for what mothers do every goddamn day.

And there is no way a fucking Michael Buble CD even comes close to cutting it.

I’m not angry or bitter, just fed up with the commercialised crap that comes with a day like this. Surely I’m not the only person who suspects that mothers day is kept alive simply so that retailers can get rack up some decent revenue in between Christmas and the mid year sales. But in saying that I cannot even begin to describe what I would give to see a mothers day gift guide land in my letterbox that had just one suggestion that didn’t imply that mothers were devoid of all taste and and personality. I’m seeing Evan Dando play live in a couple of weeks, so can someone please explain why the fuck would I want or need a lame arse CD which carries the word crooner in the description???

I’ll take some booze if I’m being completely honest.

At my son’s school the dads get an early morning BBQ and games on the school oval. Until this year the mums got a three hour mass and assembly where it seemed that every child in the school got up and told us why their mum was their hero. Can anyone else see what’s wrong with this picture? Why the fuck can’t we get the dads in the school to cook breakfast for the mums before school and not assume instead that mums have nothing better to do than be bored to death in the middle of the day? This year there was a one hour mass and a morning tea which was served by the teachers aides while the kids were in class. Slightly better than the three hours yawn-a-thon but still not a win.

I’m not being a grinch here. I’m going to have a really nice day with my family and that’s more than enough for me. But how about we stop patronising mothers for one day and start valuing them the other 364 days instead?

What a radical idea.

  1. Ugh to all those commercialised days – Mother’s/Father’s Day/Valentine’s Day/etc. When they come out with a day dedicated to bad ass single ladies then I’ll get on board LOL!!


    1. Yes, they need something like that, and I reckon it would be a hit too!


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